I Dream of Being a Dad

Sandwich soldiers, hopscotch, hide and seek, adventures, ice-cream stops that mum doesn’t know about, simple songs and endless laughter. The opportunity to mould, create, and build. The chance to be a hero. A lifetime to love.

What is it about being a dad that I so look forward to? Is it because I so fondly remember special times I spent with my own dad and how much they meant to me that I can’t wait to give those special moments to my own kids? Is it that I’m just some soft guy that loves kids or is fatherhood just part of what life is all about for us as males?

Some say I am too young to even think of these things; and well… they are true. I mean maybe I should find a girlfriend. Get married and after years of bliss have some children, settle down and ‘Live the dream’.

But I can’t do that… I mean yes, I can find a girlfriend and get married. But, what I can’t do is wait till then to dream of being a dad.

I don’t even think it’s the title of dad that gets me excited but rather the opportunity to be me to someone else. share wisdom. To be a shoulder to lean on and someone to talk to in troubled times. To share experiences and bond.

Family is such an amazing thing. I always appreciated it when my dad took time out. To sit. To play. To listen. The things I learnt. The things we laughed at. The things we still laugh at. And the things I always wish I told my dad. I think some days I took my dad for granted. It was so easy to forget what I had and wish for more until I looked at the neighbours who only saw their dad once a year because their parents were divorced.

What must that be like? Who do they talk to? Who was their hero? Who fixed their flat bike tyres and who was there when they tied their first shoelace, won their first football game or got their licence.

Our society is changing. It’s a known fact. More and more families are now single parent families with complicated scenarios. But I think so often we look at the statistics and don’t look at the faces. We so easily get caught in our own busy schedule and forgot how our dad took time out of his busy schedule for us.

Week in and week out I pass hundreds of young people stuck in a looped trance. Searching, wanting and grasping for someone or something to be their father. Their friend. Their hero. Someone to take a time out. To have a coffee. To go for a walk and to listen.

There is no way I can be their father. And that is one thing I don’t want to be. But I continually ask myself ‘what can I be to them? Can it be that hard to listen?’ Can it be that hard to take some time out and show that someone cares.

Yes, I am young and possibly naive. But if today’s young people are anything like I was at their age…. They just want someone to care.

So, let this be my little part in making the world a better place. I am no hero, nor am I a wise scholar, or a man of many talents. But I am willing to have a go. Willing to be a big brother. Not because I have to, or even because I want to. But rather because I was born to do it.

We were all born to care. To love. To cherish and to build. What are you building? Or should I ask who are you building?

Written in 2007. Aged 21.